[i-pif-uh-nee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun, plural -nies. | 1. | (initial capital letter) a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day. |
| 2. | an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity. |
| 3. | a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. |
| 4. | a literary work or section of a work presenting, usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight. |
So there I was, sitting at the head of my dining room table, quietly keeping my opinions to myself as an inane conversation refused to die amongst my closest family members. Understand I love my family dearly- some more than others, but all dearly- and would miss them were they not there. But it was my birthday, dammit. If there is one gathering where I should be spared the family drama that I myself have not caused- it should be this day. I was about to interject when, suddenly, out of the blue, my step mother spoke up.......
Those of you that know me have a pretty clear concept of the relationship that my step mother and I have. It's not cool, it's not warm- it's, at best tepid. Children should be seen and not heard, and apparently the sum of years to be considered "adult" in this equation is equivalent to (Bob's Age +1). So as I sat there, watching the words being spoken, I mentally buckled down for what could easily have been a bumpy ride.
Much to my surprise, my step mother went on a three minute dissertation on how proud she was of all that I accomplished this year. Flabbergasted, I stumbled through a thank you reply, giving much credit to my wife (see how flabbergasted I was????) and of course my wife's mother then had to ruin everything by interrupting and making things about the boy.
No, Nonna, Daddy is allowed one day a year. Step off.
Now, you would think that I should be grateful for the compliments, and as the folks in "The Wiz" would tell you- ease on down the road. Not so fast.
As I later read all the cards that were given to me- I noticed a significant trend. They were all complimentary- but all the personal comments centered on my career accomplishments.
(as an aside- this year was a doozy for me- career wise. More likely than not, it shall not be repeated- but ya never know)
I'm not sure why, but this was a major blow to me. Maybe it is because I'm not planning on living past 70 (don't look at me with those eyes of admonition- none of the men in my family make it much past 68). I think back about the comments made in birthday cards, and the only ones that I remember are those that were included when my son was born. And, just so you know- my end of that deal was pretty easy. Relatively mind you.
I consider the scope of this- that my family feels that the of all the things that I have accomplished, that my career is the the pinnacle of said accomplishments- and I'm uneasy. Will the lasting impression I leave with my child(ren), on the world- be solely that I sell drugs well?
Reflecting- there is ample reason (or a lack of alternate material, more appropriately) to steer my family in this direction.
With this, I have decided that I am going to volunteer to do something (I'm not sure what yet) involving pediatric oncology. Prevention/treament of, not the propagation of- ya nits. Fundraising, increasing awareness, what have you. It's a good cause, and it inflates my ego- aint nothin' wrong with that.
I've been having a lot of "karma" moments as of late, mostly involving the "small world" syndrome. I hope maybe that this is the right track.
